It Never Ends...

 Full disclosure that this post is going to come with a lot of feelings. It’s not meant to point fingers, but it is, instead, meant to educate people on the very real struggles we face in animal rescue. I firmly believe that when people know better, they can do better, and many people just don’t know the gravity of the problems we face so I feel an obligation to share.

In the past three months we have rescued two strays and with that comes the ever-glamorous need for potty training (and a touch up on my grays). Thank goodness for concrete floors and fancy things like belly bands and the amazing “PeeKeeper” outfits that I had special made for rescue pups of the past. However, pulling these items out reminded me of my beloved babies that they were made for who are no longer with me. The pain of their absence hit me straight in the gut this morning. So many memories of them are sparked with joy and appreciation for the time I had with them, but then there are the other times. The times when it hits me like a ton of bricks that they are gone and one day the others will be gone, too. And then there is the gut-wrenching realization that my life will forever be filled with love and loss in short cycles. Lately I have questioned whether this passion still lived inside of me because I have found myself not feeling on the deep level that I once did. Granted the loss of four dogs in 2019, coupled with working as a nurse during the pandemic, and the addition of two children to my life brought forth an unimaginable range of emotions that required medication and a lot of therapy to begin to process. I have healed a lot, but one thing I never wanted to lose was the love and passion I felt for animals in need. Even with as hard as these moments have hit me today (and a few other moments over this past week), I am grateful for them because it let me know that my passion is still here- it might just be buried beneath my current state of survival.

The animals we rescue can come with great needs. Some are still happy and trusting and just need help finding their forever home, but others come with significant trauma. Take my most recent rescues- found out in the country and petrified to go outside (even with me right next to them). They are panic-stricken with the thought that they will be forgotten again and left to fend for themselves like before. The fact that neither of them were eaten by a coyote or killed by another wild animal is astounding to me. The boy I rescued last week, Mr. Bruno, was emaciated, covered in fleas, anemic, and had multiple wounds in various stages of healing when I found him, and yet he still ran from me when I tried to catch him on the side of the road. He had that much distrust in humans that he RAN from someone calmly offering a gentle hand. Thank goodness for the Chick-fil-A chicken burrito that I happened to have just picked up. I was able to throw a few pieces of chicken out and his need for food trumped his suspicion of me and he allowed me to pick him up. It’s also very possible that he didn’t have the energy to run any longer given his physical state. Getting him bathed was the priority so I could remove the parasites that were actively feeding from what little body he had left. Then came getting food into him, but this comes with risks. You can’t just put a bowl of kibble down in front of a starving dog and let them go nuts. Re-feeding syndrome is a risk with malnourished animals within the first 3-7 days because their bodies can easily become overloaded. Prevention requires feeding multiple small meals a day instead of a typical one or two that healthy animals can eat. Have you ever tried feeding a starving dog and telling him he can only have 10 bites of this food now when he probably hasn’t eaten in several days? He doesn’t understand time and even though you are going to give him another 10 bites in a few hours he can’t comprehend why you won’t give him more right now. This goes on and on for multiple days and it feels like forever, but slowly he begins to trust you. Slowly the pains of hunger become more diminished, and he can rest peacefully instead of only resting when his body can’t stand a second longer. He lets out that “sigh” that all animal rescuers are familiar with, and you breathe your own sigh of relief that maybe he will make it through this without an immense amount of trauma. Then you set out to find the perfect home for him- one where he will be loved and cherished. So many times I see people frustrated that an animal rescue has such stringent requirements to adopt, but this is for good reason. We don’t want this animal (that we have poured our heart and soul into healing) to ever experience the pain and trauma of being abandoned again. So, we investigate. We ask hard questions. We call your references. We are honest with you about the work that it will likely take to get this animal to trust you, and we make sure you are prepared to give them the time and space they need to adapt and adjust to your home.

There aren’t enough of us to rescue all of them though. And those of us that continue to rescue and foster day in and day out aren’t even afforded an opportunity to celebrate the success of one before we are left grieving another. Then it’s time again to push that grief down and rescue another, and another, and another because the pleas don’t stop. For every one animal we say yes to there are another 5, 10, 15 that we can’t. This impossible situation builds up anger and feelings of failure. We constantly see posts of people looking to rehome their animals because their life is too busy, but to be quite frank, so is mine. I work a full-time job M-F in a hospital, and a part-time job doing animal rescue events where we pour money and resources back into our community animals through free vet care and microchips so they can find their way back home if they are ever lost. I pick up hospital shifts working at the bedside caring for patients, I’m going to school full-time to finish my master’s degree, plus I have two young children, 8 dogs, and 2 cats that require love and attention. Lord only knows how I would manage to do any of this without my amazing partner. I don’t even know how I make it through most days, but somehow I do. And then I see the posts online about “this baby needs a home” and it’s from someone that has bred their animal and is contributing to the hardships that animal rescuers face. I see posts about people searching for purebred animals and shelling out thousands to purchase them, but then not being able to afford their vet care. I also see the helpers though. The people like me and so many of my friends that are doing everything they can to educate others on these same harsh realities and it pushes me to keep going.

If you read this and you find yourself being defensive or recognizing feelings of guilt, please don’t get upset with me. Instead, look inward and really evaluate what you’re feeling. YOU have the power to make a difference, even if it’s seemingly small. I know the world is tough right now and some days you wonder if you should even bother because it’s hard to see the impact you are making, but you make an impact regardless of which action you choose. Every single decision you make creates a ripple in the world around you and nothing we do is insignificant. Ask yourself if you want to contribute to the problem moving forward, or if you want to take steps to be a part of the solution. Even if it isn’t with animal rescue- maybe individuals with mental health problems, or children in foster care are something that speaks to your heart. There’s no time like the present to take the leap of faith and make a positive impact in the world. Just do it, because the world needs more people who do not turn a blind eye to the plights of others.